Random Jokes

• Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall:

• "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!  

• Question: Which day of the week is most hated by fish?

• Answer: Fry Day

• What do you call a deeply burnt food item in your lunch that is not recogonizable? 
• UFO: Unidentified Fried Object.  

• Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.

• Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn't he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.                             Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.

• Wife to her husband: Wake up. Some thieves have broken into our house. I think they are now eating the food I made last night.
  Husband: Oh! Let's better call the ambulance then.

• Teacher: How many letters are there totally in "A.B.C.D"?
  Student: 4
  Teacher: I meant the complete set, not just "A.B.C.D"
  Student: 52
  Teacher: What?! How?
  Student: Lower case 26 and Upper case 26.

• Teacher: I want you to learn some of the alphabet.
  So jack goes home and see’s his mum reading a bill,
  Jack: mum what is the first letter of the alphabet? ,
  Mum: oh my gosh I forgot about that!
  So he goes to his sister, who is listening to rude music,
  Jack: what is the second letter of the alphabet?
  Sister: oh just pee off!
  So he goes to his dad, who is playing darts,
  Jack: what is the third letter of the alphabet?
  Dad: one hundred and eighty,
  So he goes to his little brother, who is watching node,
  Jack: what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?
  Brother: in my little brum brum car!
  The next day he goes to school and the teacher cask’s...
  Teacher: so jack what have you learnt?
  Jack: oh my gosh I forgot about that!
  Teacher: excuse me?
  Jack: oh just pee of!
  Teacher: how many detentions do you think you are going to have?
  Jack: one hundred and eighty!
  Teacher: how do you think you are going to get away from this?
  Jack: in my little brum brum car!